I always wonder why i can be happy, and all of a sudden, reach the bottom in the very same hour.
Guess i'm going mad.
But that doesn't sound too bad.
Debated with myself and had an exchange in ideas. You can actually do more things when you're insane than when you're sane.
For instance, you could run around shouting how much you love life even when it sucked and you wouldn't even know it yourself, because you don't even know what "good" is.
You wouldn't have to bother about what other people thought about you.
You could stop worrying about things because you'll definitely be living in the present and not looking back, nor busy paving your road up ahead.
You could run around slapping people you hate and they wouldn't have the reason to retaliate because they'd have to "stoop to your level".
You could stop minding your etiquettes and mannerisms, e.g. digging your nose in public, walk around in sloppy clothings, and ignore the world's comments because you live for yourself.
Because at the end of the day, you can speak your mind without fear. You can do anything you like without worries that people might despise you. You can live without all the stress of competing with people constantly, even when you're sleeping because you compete about dreaming of straight As on your results slip.

All you've to give up, is your sanity.
That's a tough decision, because sanity keeps us in control. Control over ourselves. That force which stops the real you from coming out, and creating havoc. That ability to look at things in a logical way and put things to your own benefit.
Makes you wonder if you want to be sane or not, doesn't it.
Anyways, i'm just being mad and ranting all these stuffs here. People might think i just escaped from IMH or something. -.-
...
I guess mugging for 12hours has an adverse effect.
Brain's rather dead. The heart's rather tired. Escalates fatigue till no eye see.
I'm happy, really, that i managed to study like i promised myself. I didn't procrastinate even when i wanted to. I won the battle against it.
My dad always said i'm smart. Just that i'm so lazy, i appear dumber than others.
I agree with that. But i'm still dumb. Not just in studies.
Maybe i should stop comparing. Right, 人比人，比死人。Not something i can change though. It's like part of the human nature. No comparing = no motivation to improve.
Apparently even after i compare, i don't seem to have improved much. LOL. Epic fail.
...

I should cherish people around me more.
Been looking at my problems, and i forgot that some people are there for me.
Feel like i've been pushing them away when they offered their hands.
However, despite knowing that i should treasure them before they're gone, i'm not.
I don't even get myself at times.
I understand the logic behind things, but i'm not applying them into my life.
Nobody taught me to. I don't even know what they meant by "applying lessons into your life". Because i never do. Unless it's some suay incidents that really happened to me and made me really determined to steer clear of them, else i won't even bother.
I'm a bastard. Fullstop.

Okay, my poor playlist of 27 songs has been replaying for the entire day, and stopping 4times in total asking me to click "Play" continuously because i got too lazy to switch to my mp3 instead.
Thank goodness i had music though. Music can be the best companion when nobody is there for you. It's just a touch away.
Like very emo right.
Because i'm looking at all the freaking emo pictures on tumblr, no doubt that they're nice.
Tumblr does inspire me at times. & then after 5mins, i forget what it wrote.
So at the end of the day, i reblogged it like for nothing. Wtf.
Sieving through the archives isn't an easy thing with the constant piles of updates of photographs they took okay.
Anyways, off to admire them. (:

P.S If you don't know me well enough, that smile is a fake.

I always wonder why i can be happy, and all of a sudden, reach the bottom in the very same hour.
Guess i'm going mad.
But that doesn't sound too bad.
Debated with myself and had an exchange in ideas. You can actually do more things when you're insane than when you're sane.
For instance, you could run around shouting how much you love life even when it sucked and you wouldn't even know it yourself, because you don't even know what "good" is.
You wouldn't have to bother about what other people thought about you.
You could stop worrying about things because you'll definitely be living in the present and not looking back, nor busy paving your road up ahead.
You could run around slapping people you hate and they wouldn't have the reason to retaliate because they'd have to "stoop to your level".
You could stop minding your etiquettes and mannerisms, e.g. digging your nose in public, walk around in sloppy clothings, and ignore the world's comments because you live for yourself.
Because at the end of the day, you can speak your mind without fear. You can do anything you like without worries that people might despise you. You can live without all the stress of competing with people constantly, even when you're sleeping because you compete about dreaming of straight As on your results slip.

All you've to give up, is your sanity.
That's a tough decision, because sanity keeps us in control. Control over ourselves. That force which stops the real you from coming out, and creating havoc. That ability to look at things in a logical way and put things to your own benefit.
Makes you wonder if you want to be sane or not, doesn't it.
Anyways, i'm just being mad and ranting all these stuffs here. People might think i just escaped from IMH or something. -.-
...
I guess mugging for 12hours has an adverse effect.
Brain's rather dead. The heart's rather tired. Escalates fatigue till no eye see.
I'm happy, really, that i managed to study like i promised myself. I didn't procrastinate even when i wanted to. I won the battle against it.
My dad always said i'm smart. Just that i'm so lazy, i appear dumber than others.
I agree with that. But i'm still dumb. Not just in studies.
Maybe i should stop comparing. Right, 人比人，比死人。Not something i can change though. It's like part of the human nature. No comparing = no motivation to improve.
Apparently even after i compare, i don't seem to have improved much. LOL. Epic fail.
...

I should cherish people around me more.
Been looking at my problems, and i forgot that some people are there for me.
Feel like i've been pushing them away when they offered their hands.
However, despite knowing that i should treasure them before they're gone, i'm not.
I don't even get myself at times.
I understand the logic behind things, but i'm not applying them into my life.
Nobody taught me to. I don't even know what they meant by "applying lessons into your life". Because i never do. Unless it's some suay incidents that really happened to me and made me really determined to steer clear of them, else i won't even bother.
I'm a bastard. Fullstop.

Okay, my poor playlist of 27 songs has been replaying for the entire day, and stopping 4times in total asking me to click "Play" continuously because i got too lazy to switch to my mp3 instead.
Thank goodness i had music though. Music can be the best companion when nobody is there for you. It's just a touch away.
Like very emo right.
Because i'm looking at all the freaking emo pictures on tumblr, no doubt that they're nice.
Tumblr does inspire me at times. & then after 5mins, i forget what it wrote.
So at the end of the day, i reblogged it like for nothing. Wtf.
Sieving through the archives isn't an easy thing with the constant piles of updates of photographs they took okay.
Anyways, off to admire them. (:

P.S If you don't know me well enough, that smile is a fake.

♥ CHERYL - (:
I'm an authentic Earthling.
& that's all about me. (;