I deleted my previous post because i thought it was too pessimistic towards life.
Why the sudden realisation ?
Because i got so bored, i contemplated between watching Hello Baby for the umpteenth time & reading my previous blog entries.
So obviously, i chose the latter.
I believe i have a recent enough blog entry that consisted of me and my reflections after reading them. But i guess it doesn't kill to do another one.

Somehow, i couldn't bear to read the very early ones. Probably those around sec2 year end ?
I've always been saying how i hate people typing in a way that makes it irritating to even read in the first place.I'm fine if it's wordy, but not when the way they type contains X number of "orhh", "worr", & a whole chunk of obvious 撒娇ing in it.
Thank god i didn't blog in a very 撒娇 way or i'm most likely standing by the edge of a cliff right now.
Just that i wasn't too far from the extra-letter-at-the-end way of writing. No eye see, seriously.
So i'll be frank and said i skipped most of the posts. Okay, because gaming was more or less the main topic throughout the posts, it's like a total waste of time to even read it in the first place.
I can't understand why i had the mindset that i wouldn't regret blogging all those things back then when i asked myself what if i outgrew it all.
Then i just skipped all the way to sec3 and 4 life. Tremendous change, i suppose.
Initially it was a very dead blog since i had quite a hard time coping. In the end it turned out i blogged quite often, like now, because i used "blogging" in replacement of the word "slacking".
Actually, i'm still shocked i could remember certain events so vividly.
Minor things like what happened on the way to the bus stop, what happened in class, the jokes we made, the things we did etc.
I can only say that i used to be naive, and most importantly, happy.
Ignorance has got to be part of it. But even though i'm seeing things clearly, i still find happiness with the same companions. So i guess it differs..
Everyday was just :
-> Be the first to reach school. [ When i'm not the first, you know 162 has got to be the culprit. ]
-> Learn to talk with people, 360degrees.
-> Half-sleeping during Physics. Busy copying Maths. Almost dozing in English. Being mean during Chinese. Going wild at PE. Confusion in Biology. Crapping with Chemistry. Training hand muscles in Humanities.
-> Compete against one another for a cubicle / Running to the canteen.
-> Continue lessons.
-> After school, taking bus with Rach or going to J8/AMK Hub to hangout.
-> Go home slack/study.
-> Sleep and wait for a new day.
I don't think i could even have permanent unhappiness then. Not that i have it now, but this one lasted longer than any.
That's why i decided that i should be positive all over again.
I am not pessimistic entirely. Just that i've given up on certain things. But even though i gave up on things, i never give up on myself. :D
So i'll try to sustain this happiness for as long as i can. That kinda explains why i decided i should remove the earlier post.
Disappointments, who never experienced it ? It's a feeling, it's bad, but it'll pass, and i'm not going to be brought down by new things popping out now and then because if i did, all of it would be enough to make me end up in IMH and i'm not throwing my future away just like that.

I wouldn't say i miss the past now. Because currently, i'm not too depressed just yet.
Like i said, i've moved on quite a bit this holiday. How much i've moved doesn't matter. What matters is i'm no longer stagnant there.
I would have thought i've seen things quite clearly already but in actual fact, i still have a lot more to ponder about.
I'll continue thinking about it from other perspectives. I'm just afraid my braincells give up on me already. :P
& the most obvious change i observed was that my blog entries got significantly shorter with the start of Poly life and usually, 90% of it contains vulgarities and unhappiness.
I think it's going to have an adverse effect on my health so i'll just stop. Besides, the weather's killing me and i'm literally sweating in my room with the fan facing me. ZZ.
So from now on, i'm going to try and blog as long as what i did last time.
One thing good about long and draggy posts is that you have more details and even if your memory fails you, you can depend on it to remind you what once happened.
It's like your brain being cloned and coded into words. Not as nice as what you had seen once, but it's good enough.
The reason why i stopped blogging such long posts was because i thought it might be difficult and tiring to read, for people and myself, and it'll make the entire thing look kinda weird.
I guess it's time i stopped worrying about what others might think and maybe, live for myself a little.
You know it's bullshyt when they say you should live for yourself because living for yourself is equivalent to being selfish. People always expect you to think for them rather than for yourself so if you really did, you'll be deep shytz for life.

Anyways, i'm just glad i decided to read the old posts.
I once told Chaongin that her blog entries were getting shorter and emo-er, but what i didn't realise was that i was doing the same thing too. Ironic.
But thanks to these 5weeks, i've been cheerful again.
Though i'm still dreary about school, it's gonna haunt me in another day's time. For now, i have another day to be happy.

Okay, this is a freaking long post and i guess i totally illustrated what i wanted to say and even more.
Holding on..
So what's going to happen tomorrow ? (;

I deleted my previous post because i thought it was too pessimistic towards life.
Why the sudden realisation ?
Because i got so bored, i contemplated between watching Hello Baby for the umpteenth time & reading my previous blog entries.
So obviously, i chose the latter.
I believe i have a recent enough blog entry that consisted of me and my reflections after reading them. But i guess it doesn't kill to do another one.

Somehow, i couldn't bear to read the very early ones. Probably those around sec2 year end ?
I've always been saying how i hate people typing in a way that makes it irritating to even read in the first place.I'm fine if it's wordy, but not when the way they type contains X number of "orhh", "worr", & a whole chunk of obvious 撒娇ing in it.
Thank god i didn't blog in a very 撒娇 way or i'm most likely standing by the edge of a cliff right now.
Just that i wasn't too far from the extra-letter-at-the-end way of writing. No eye see, seriously.
So i'll be frank and said i skipped most of the posts. Okay, because gaming was more or less the main topic throughout the posts, it's like a total waste of time to even read it in the first place.
I can't understand why i had the mindset that i wouldn't regret blogging all those things back then when i asked myself what if i outgrew it all.
Then i just skipped all the way to sec3 and 4 life. Tremendous change, i suppose.
Initially it was a very dead blog since i had quite a hard time coping. In the end it turned out i blogged quite often, like now, because i used "blogging" in replacement of the word "slacking".
Actually, i'm still shocked i could remember certain events so vividly.
Minor things like what happened on the way to the bus stop, what happened in class, the jokes we made, the things we did etc.
I can only say that i used to be naive, and most importantly, happy.
Ignorance has got to be part of it. But even though i'm seeing things clearly, i still find happiness with the same companions. So i guess it differs..
Everyday was just :
-> Be the first to reach school. [ When i'm not the first, you know 162 has got to be the culprit. ]
-> Learn to talk with people, 360degrees.
-> Half-sleeping during Physics. Busy copying Maths. Almost dozing in English. Being mean during Chinese. Going wild at PE. Confusion in Biology. Crapping with Chemistry. Training hand muscles in Humanities.
-> Compete against one another for a cubicle / Running to the canteen.
-> Continue lessons.
-> After school, taking bus with Rach or going to J8/AMK Hub to hangout.
-> Go home slack/study.
-> Sleep and wait for a new day.
I don't think i could even have permanent unhappiness then. Not that i have it now, but this one lasted longer than any.
That's why i decided that i should be positive all over again.
I am not pessimistic entirely. Just that i've given up on certain things. But even though i gave up on things, i never give up on myself. :D
So i'll try to sustain this happiness for as long as i can. That kinda explains why i decided i should remove the earlier post.
Disappointments, who never experienced it ? It's a feeling, it's bad, but it'll pass, and i'm not going to be brought down by new things popping out now and then because if i did, all of it would be enough to make me end up in IMH and i'm not throwing my future away just like that.

I wouldn't say i miss the past now. Because currently, i'm not too depressed just yet.
Like i said, i've moved on quite a bit this holiday. How much i've moved doesn't matter. What matters is i'm no longer stagnant there.
I would have thought i've seen things quite clearly already but in actual fact, i still have a lot more to ponder about.
I'll continue thinking about it from other perspectives. I'm just afraid my braincells give up on me already. :P
& the most obvious change i observed was that my blog entries got significantly shorter with the start of Poly life and usually, 90% of it contains vulgarities and unhappiness.
I think it's going to have an adverse effect on my health so i'll just stop. Besides, the weather's killing me and i'm literally sweating in my room with the fan facing me. ZZ.
So from now on, i'm going to try and blog as long as what i did last time.
One thing good about long and draggy posts is that you have more details and even if your memory fails you, you can depend on it to remind you what once happened.
It's like your brain being cloned and coded into words. Not as nice as what you had seen once, but it's good enough.
The reason why i stopped blogging such long posts was because i thought it might be difficult and tiring to read, for people and myself, and it'll make the entire thing look kinda weird.
I guess it's time i stopped worrying about what others might think and maybe, live for myself a little.
You know it's bullshyt when they say you should live for yourself because living for yourself is equivalent to being selfish. People always expect you to think for them rather than for yourself so if you really did, you'll be deep shytz for life.

Anyways, i'm just glad i decided to read the old posts.
I once told Chaongin that her blog entries were getting shorter and emo-er, but what i didn't realise was that i was doing the same thing too. Ironic.
But thanks to these 5weeks, i've been cheerful again.
Though i'm still dreary about school, it's gonna haunt me in another day's time. For now, i have another day to be happy.

Okay, this is a freaking long post and i guess i totally illustrated what i wanted to say and even more.
Holding on..
So what's going to happen tomorrow ? (;

♥ CHERYL - (:
I'm an authentic Earthling.
& that's all about me. (;