I got too bored, so i went to re-read my archives/older blog posts since sec2 year end, which is in 2007..?
I think, i was much simpler back then.
As in, it's really obvious that i'm still not mature luh. The posts are either talking about Maple, or studies, or events and retarded things that happened to me each day.
But somehow, the immaturity at that time, was something good.
At the very least, re-reading it reminds me of the feelings i had while typing it all out, and i could really feel the happiness in each day.
Okay, i might have sadness or depression due to my poor studies, as seen in archives beginning from Jan1 2008. But i was still happy.
& reading my posts now, it just shows how unhappy i am with life.
It's either social life, or academics, or just ranting on about unhappy events.
I've changed. And i didn't realise i changed. This is scary.
Why can't i go back to my old self ? Where every single day is about hanging out with my best friends, going out after school, failing exams or tests together and still finding it interesting..
*Sighs.

But one thing that shocked me, while reading the posts, i saw the grades of my CA1 in sec3.
The results were ALMOST similar to my Olevel grades !
& i was still saying how ridiculous it was, that someone like me, who is an arch enemy with maths, could get distinctions for AMaths and EMaths.
Well, i guess things are always unpredictable. :)
And then again, i realised a common point :
I kept saying that i was stupid.
This either shows that i had really low self-esteem or confidence, or simply, i'm too innocent.
Okay fine, it sounds kinda wrong to say i'm innocent because i've changed.
However, you can't say that i've never been innocent, because everyone has gone through that stage of innocence.
HEHE.
Life was simpler back then, where the toughest and most complicated thing in life for me, was just maths.
Managing to solve one maths question was like, taking down a massive rock from my shoulders. It just gives me the sense of accomplishment, and i'll continue to work on it, if i managed to solve one.
So i've to question myself now.
What is the most complicated thing in my life now ?
Studies ? Friends ? Family ? Or is it in general, my life that's over-complicated ?
Now i understand why adults have all these kind of problems they face everyday and frown, whereas kids spends their days having fun, enjoying, and smiling.
Why do we have to complicate things ? It gets even more complicated when you're too smart. Because being overly-smart results in a probability of becoming more cunning.

To prove my point, i wouldn't be typing all these big theories and questions if i were 15 again.
I'd never thought of all these things because my life was so hectic, and yet, fulfilling.
Even though it's even more hectic now, but it's not fulfilling. I'm not enjoying the process..

Special/Interesting events i found and almost forgot, while reading older posts :
- I actually type out what i learnt in lessons when i finally clarified something because again, i felt accomplished.
- I give as much details in every single event. Seriously, i think i treated this as my real diary. I'll bet i wrote more things here than my diary that's rotting in some drawers.
- Getting passes/above average grades makes me so freaking happy i can smile the entire day despite bad things that attempts to ruin my day.
- I just remembered it's been quite awhile since i made a trip to the library to borrow books. My passion for books.. Life has changed drastically that now, i don't have time to make my way down..
- I actually stopped chionging Maple the moment i entered sec3. And i still thought i would die if my mum really crushed my desktop.. Not bad uh. I matured drastically during that period. HAHAA !
- One of the things i never regretted in life : Attending the sec3 camp. Though i might have procrastinated and had a dilemma about whether i should go or not, but in the end, going was totally worth it.
- I felt proud to be a Deyian, despite the old building, and the ohpiang uniform colour. During SYF, we were all Deyians, and i was even prouder because the band won, and we walked around like we were an elite school. :D
- I do retarded things almost every single day, last time. & i miss eating in 7mins, and taking 5mins to walk up and down 4storeys during recess since it was always so packed. This was one of the memorable things i did to survive in Deyi.
- Sumo House was our "family restaurant". Visiting it before/after remedials, breaks, after school.
- I miss mapling with my friends. We'd chiong home, on comp, and meet in maple. Either to slack, train or crap. LOLs !
- The day i went to WWW with Rach, and i "banged into a wall", scratching my leg and my skin came off. Went back to school wearing slippers, and everyone knew i banged into a wall. -.-
- When news that MrHiew was leaving us, and the entire class went into debate if we should ask for an explanation from the principal. Eventually, we kicked a big fuss out of the issue that almost all the teachers knew about it. & damn, the explanation wasn't even considered "explaining" lor. Just reasoning and reasoning. Bad memory. :/
- Days where "Paris & Milan" were our common topics.
- Retarded things that happens in science labs while doing experiments.
- The H1N1 incident that quarantined half the class. The class felt like it lost its soul for that week.. The day they came back, was the day of resurrection. Thurs, Jul23 2009 post. I'll never forget that.
- When merely playing Captain's Ball, made me feel instantly energised. Because of them. (:
- Having remedials, studying, doing TYS, doing exam papers, and many more, WITH them.
- The Olevel mugging period. I wasn't exactly feeling the stress. More like, going at my own pace and i felt happy to be studying, for the first time in my life.
- Prelims. The day i decided to give up on Bio and concentrate on other subjects, and later, i realised i passed my Bio paper even when i didn't study for it. FML, seriously. -.-
- That day. That day when Mario gave me back my Chinese Olevel results, and asked me what grades i wanted to get, but all i could reply was : HUH -.-? HAHAA. Not forgetting that i cried because i was too happy, and i got sad for people that were sad. & i jumped and screamed when i saw my results, attracted too much attention. =.=
- I realised that there were obvious biasness towards 409. And 409 got discriminated by other classes, when we didn't even look down on others. ZZ.
- When my aunt had a baby girl, and she cried when she saw me and my other girl cousin because she dislikes females that are "prettier, older, taller, etc" than her. She prefers guys. LOLs !
- Shocking i got 14 for L1R4, and 18 for R5 during Prelims. HAHAA !
- I should never try wearing specs. Hideous.
- I didn't study much during Olevel period. I think i studied more before that. LOLs !
- Jan11 : Taking of Olevel results. Much tears, but all happiness because the entire class passed. (: The step that's going to bring a better life for my parents. & i fking thought i lost my results slip. I went to ransack my room awhile ago, and thank god i found it. Omfg, scared the hell outta me. -.-
- 409 chalet. <3

That about sums up the wonderful events in Deyi.
There's a common factor in each day.
I laughed everyday. Heartily. I found my outspoken self in 409, and 409 changed my life.
I thought i'd never make it out alive, but i did. Everyone did.
But the question now, is whether i'm still laughing like that.
I think not. That's why i'm so unhappy.
Guess i found the old me again, by reading all these posts.
It's not such a bad idea to have a blog, because at least, it stores all the most memorable things and it refreshes your memories.
I've to say that too many things have happened, my mind is filled with recent events, but not the past.
I'll try to think of them more. :D

Long post, going off now.
Damn, stupid Olevel results made me panic for nothing.

Fullstop !

I got too bored, so i went to re-read my archives/older blog posts since sec2 year end, which is in 2007..?
I think, i was much simpler back then.
As in, it's really obvious that i'm still not mature luh. The posts are either talking about Maple, or studies, or events and retarded things that happened to me each day.
But somehow, the immaturity at that time, was something good.
At the very least, re-reading it reminds me of the feelings i had while typing it all out, and i could really feel the happiness in each day.
Okay, i might have sadness or depression due to my poor studies, as seen in archives beginning from Jan1 2008. But i was still happy.
& reading my posts now, it just shows how unhappy i am with life.
It's either social life, or academics, or just ranting on about unhappy events.
I've changed. And i didn't realise i changed. This is scary.
Why can't i go back to my old self ? Where every single day is about hanging out with my best friends, going out after school, failing exams or tests together and still finding it interesting..
*Sighs.

But one thing that shocked me, while reading the posts, i saw the grades of my CA1 in sec3.
The results were ALMOST similar to my Olevel grades !
& i was still saying how ridiculous it was, that someone like me, who is an arch enemy with maths, could get distinctions for AMaths and EMaths.
Well, i guess things are always unpredictable. :)
And then again, i realised a common point :
I kept saying that i was stupid.
This either shows that i had really low self-esteem or confidence, or simply, i'm too innocent.
Okay fine, it sounds kinda wrong to say i'm innocent because i've changed.
However, you can't say that i've never been innocent, because everyone has gone through that stage of innocence.
HEHE.
Life was simpler back then, where the toughest and most complicated thing in life for me, was just maths.
Managing to solve one maths question was like, taking down a massive rock from my shoulders. It just gives me the sense of accomplishment, and i'll continue to work on it, if i managed to solve one.
So i've to question myself now.
What is the most complicated thing in my life now ?
Studies ? Friends ? Family ? Or is it in general, my life that's over-complicated ?
Now i understand why adults have all these kind of problems they face everyday and frown, whereas kids spends their days having fun, enjoying, and smiling.
Why do we have to complicate things ? It gets even more complicated when you're too smart. Because being overly-smart results in a probability of becoming more cunning.

To prove my point, i wouldn't be typing all these big theories and questions if i were 15 again.
I'd never thought of all these things because my life was so hectic, and yet, fulfilling.
Even though it's even more hectic now, but it's not fulfilling. I'm not enjoying the process..

Special/Interesting events i found and almost forgot, while reading older posts :
- I actually type out what i learnt in lessons when i finally clarified something because again, i felt accomplished.
- I give as much details in every single event. Seriously, i think i treated this as my real diary. I'll bet i wrote more things here than my diary that's rotting in some drawers.
- Getting passes/above average grades makes me so freaking happy i can smile the entire day despite bad things that attempts to ruin my day.
- I just remembered it's been quite awhile since i made a trip to the library to borrow books. My passion for books.. Life has changed drastically that now, i don't have time to make my way down..
- I actually stopped chionging Maple the moment i entered sec3. And i still thought i would die if my mum really crushed my desktop.. Not bad uh. I matured drastically during that period. HAHAA !
- One of the things i never regretted in life : Attending the sec3 camp. Though i might have procrastinated and had a dilemma about whether i should go or not, but in the end, going was totally worth it.
- I felt proud to be a Deyian, despite the old building, and the ohpiang uniform colour. During SYF, we were all Deyians, and i was even prouder because the band won, and we walked around like we were an elite school. :D
- I do retarded things almost every single day, last time. & i miss eating in 7mins, and taking 5mins to walk up and down 4storeys during recess since it was always so packed. This was one of the memorable things i did to survive in Deyi.
- Sumo House was our "family restaurant". Visiting it before/after remedials, breaks, after school.
- I miss mapling with my friends. We'd chiong home, on comp, and meet in maple. Either to slack, train or crap. LOLs !
- The day i went to WWW with Rach, and i "banged into a wall", scratching my leg and my skin came off. Went back to school wearing slippers, and everyone knew i banged into a wall. -.-
- When news that MrHiew was leaving us, and the entire class went into debate if we should ask for an explanation from the principal. Eventually, we kicked a big fuss out of the issue that almost all the teachers knew about it. & damn, the explanation wasn't even considered "explaining" lor. Just reasoning and reasoning. Bad memory. :/
- Days where "Paris & Milan" were our common topics.
- Retarded things that happens in science labs while doing experiments.
- The H1N1 incident that quarantined half the class. The class felt like it lost its soul for that week.. The day they came back, was the day of resurrection. Thurs, Jul23 2009 post. I'll never forget that.
- When merely playing Captain's Ball, made me feel instantly energised. Because of them. (:
- Having remedials, studying, doing TYS, doing exam papers, and many more, WITH them.
- The Olevel mugging period. I wasn't exactly feeling the stress. More like, going at my own pace and i felt happy to be studying, for the first time in my life.
- Prelims. The day i decided to give up on Bio and concentrate on other subjects, and later, i realised i passed my Bio paper even when i didn't study for it. FML, seriously. -.-
- That day. That day when Mario gave me back my Chinese Olevel results, and asked me what grades i wanted to get, but all i could reply was : HUH -.-? HAHAA. Not forgetting that i cried because i was too happy, and i got sad for people that were sad. & i jumped and screamed when i saw my results, attracted too much attention. =.=
- I realised that there were obvious biasness towards 409. And 409 got discriminated by other classes, when we didn't even look down on others. ZZ.
- When my aunt had a baby girl, and she cried when she saw me and my other girl cousin because she dislikes females that are "prettier, older, taller, etc" than her. She prefers guys. LOLs !
- Shocking i got 14 for L1R4, and 18 for R5 during Prelims. HAHAA !
- I should never try wearing specs. Hideous.
- I didn't study much during Olevel period. I think i studied more before that. LOLs !
- Jan11 : Taking of Olevel results. Much tears, but all happiness because the entire class passed. (: The step that's going to bring a better life for my parents. & i fking thought i lost my results slip. I went to ransack my room awhile ago, and thank god i found it. Omfg, scared the hell outta me. -.-
- 409 chalet. <3

That about sums up the wonderful events in Deyi.
There's a common factor in each day.
I laughed everyday. Heartily. I found my outspoken self in 409, and 409 changed my life.
I thought i'd never make it out alive, but i did. Everyone did.
But the question now, is whether i'm still laughing like that.
I think not. That's why i'm so unhappy.
Guess i found the old me again, by reading all these posts.
It's not such a bad idea to have a blog, because at least, it stores all the most memorable things and it refreshes your memories.
I've to say that too many things have happened, my mind is filled with recent events, but not the past.
I'll try to think of them more. :D

Long post, going off now.
Damn, stupid Olevel results made me panic for nothing.

Fullstop !

♥ CHERYL - (:
I'm an authentic Earthling.
& that's all about me. (;