School's starting tomorrow already.
4months ago, i would have said it was wonderful, been celebrating about it.
But right now, all i wish is time would stop.
How i wish that i could escape from reality..
It's a childish thought, isnt it ?

I have no confidence that i can adapt to the new environment.
I have no confidence that i can make new friends and move on.
Please, someone, just give me that confidence i need...
Maybe i might have already moved on.
Perhaps it's because im holding onto the past.
Im unable to let it go. Cant forget it. Cant bear to forget.
Im constantly doing comparisons between the past and the present and telling myself how wonderful the past was.
Perhaps, this mindset made me assume i cant face the future when im already prepared for it...

Or is it what i see now, the truth, that i dont belong in any groups..?
So now, am i supposed to change myself in order to fit in ?
I dont know what to do.
Please tell me what im supposed to do.
I dont want to start school with a truckload of problems waiting for me to face.
I didnt choose this course just to be tortured mentally and emotionally.
If i wanted all these things, i would be in JC now. I would be facing tons of problems from academics as well as peer pressure.
What choice do i have ?
Eventually, i'll still face problems.
Isnt there any other alternatives ? Any other way out of these things ?

I hate new beginnings.
FML.
Ironic. Maybe this is one of the low points in my life.
On the other hand, i have friends that are always there to support me.. Right ?
Sometimes, i wish i could deceive myself. But it's impossible. Because, face it, everyone's busy with their own troubles. They arent going to be by you 24/7 showing you care and concern.
& even if they're able to do that, it'll just make me a selfish person. So no way am i going to trouble them.
I need support, but i dont want to trouble people.
Contradicting statement eh ?

Either way, life goes on.
If my parents are able to face far tougher problems, why cant i ?
Im not born weak, so i wont be a coward and hide.
Im going to walk with my back straight, to school tomorrow.
Im living in the 21st century, the new age people where im capable of facing problems face-to-face and not back-down.
Doesnt this sound like im encouraging myself ? Makes me feel stupid typing this out.

Anyways, even my friends are tough enough to face their problems, why cant i ?
Alright, now time to stand tall and tell those freaking problems to :
有种就放马过来，我才不怕!
HAHAAs.

Ok luh. I need to go pack my bag.
I havent blogged about what i did today.
My emo-ness made me forgot. LOLs.

FULLSTOP.
Realised that i didnt use emotions in this entry.. Emotionally drained, perhaps ?

School's starting tomorrow already.
4months ago, i would have said it was wonderful, been celebrating about it.
But right now, all i wish is time would stop.
How i wish that i could escape from reality..
It's a childish thought, isnt it ?

I have no confidence that i can adapt to the new environment.
I have no confidence that i can make new friends and move on.
Please, someone, just give me that confidence i need...
Maybe i might have already moved on.
Perhaps it's because im holding onto the past.
Im unable to let it go. Cant forget it. Cant bear to forget.
Im constantly doing comparisons between the past and the present and telling myself how wonderful the past was.
Perhaps, this mindset made me assume i cant face the future when im already prepared for it...

Or is it what i see now, the truth, that i dont belong in any groups..?
So now, am i supposed to change myself in order to fit in ?
I dont know what to do.
Please tell me what im supposed to do.
I dont want to start school with a truckload of problems waiting for me to face.
I didnt choose this course just to be tortured mentally and emotionally.
If i wanted all these things, i would be in JC now. I would be facing tons of problems from academics as well as peer pressure.
What choice do i have ?
Eventually, i'll still face problems.
Isnt there any other alternatives ? Any other way out of these things ?

I hate new beginnings.
FML.
Ironic. Maybe this is one of the low points in my life.
On the other hand, i have friends that are always there to support me.. Right ?
Sometimes, i wish i could deceive myself. But it's impossible. Because, face it, everyone's busy with their own troubles. They arent going to be by you 24/7 showing you care and concern.
& even if they're able to do that, it'll just make me a selfish person. So no way am i going to trouble them.
I need support, but i dont want to trouble people.
Contradicting statement eh ?

Either way, life goes on.
If my parents are able to face far tougher problems, why cant i ?
Im not born weak, so i wont be a coward and hide.
Im going to walk with my back straight, to school tomorrow.
Im living in the 21st century, the new age people where im capable of facing problems face-to-face and not back-down.
Doesnt this sound like im encouraging myself ? Makes me feel stupid typing this out.

Anyways, even my friends are tough enough to face their problems, why cant i ?
Alright, now time to stand tall and tell those freaking problems to :
有种就放马过来，我才不怕!
HAHAAs.

Ok luh. I need to go pack my bag.
I havent blogged about what i did today.
My emo-ness made me forgot. LOLs.

FULLSTOP.
Realised that i didnt use emotions in this entry.. Emotionally drained, perhaps ?

♥ CHERYL - (:
I'm an authentic Earthling.
& that's all about me. (;