Blog post no. 127..

Let's just start this off with what i did the entire day.
Well, not the entire day, but just the things i did.
Wth am i talking ? -.=
Not using my brain now. Very sorry. =/
Anyways,
went to school for the damndamn AYG thingy. -.=
ROARR !
I could have slept in later.
Thanks to MrZaman, my beauty sleep just *poofed !
What have i done in this 1 whole month ?
NOTHING !
=.=

Nothing productive came out of this holiday, i guess.
Sometimes i wonder why im born slacky. -.=
Shytty lah.


I hate going to school.
But i have to go to school.
Im obliged to go to school.
Yet school makes me feel tired.
Why do our society require us to study so much, and yet some undergrads still cant find a job ?
Is it our problem or does the problem lie in the society itself ?
Im tired.
My heart feels tired.
I've got so much in my head,
sometimes i wonder whether my brain would just explode and everything solved.
Im going to find a bomb and bomb my brain off someday.. -.-
There's so much to cram into my head..
Studies..
Studies..
& more studies..
All the problems originates from studies.
Thats why i hate it.
Why am i so stupid ?!
Why cant i just perform well, academically, like some people ?
I mean, i dont have to be perfect in all the subjects,
but just let me understand all of it,
and get myself a good grade.

Im seriously tired.
I must be thinking too much.
Loneliness, i guess.
Sometimes i think that it might be better if i had a older sibling to share my thoughts and feelings with,
but it's quite impossible.
Circumstances restricts.
One of the reason why im constantly going out is because,
usually being alone,
the loneliness just overwhelms me.
In the end, what happens ?
Im emoing like what im feeling right now.
I guess most wouldnt understand.
Surprisingly,
the Facebook quiz i took,
was spot-on about me having the mental disease called Bi-Polar..
Something like that.
Can be happy & hyper, the next minute, feeling depressed...
I must be suffering from depression.
Im going bonkers. -.=
Mostly, im happy and hyper outside.
Because im surrounded with people/friends.
The crowd makes me forget my worries,
makes me happier and more cheerful.
Tell people im emo,
they would just say,
Sure anot ?
I had this experience.
Remember going out with some friends..
Saw this shirt saying, im emo.
I told them, it suits me.
They didnt quite believe.
Frankly, most people are unable to see the real me.
Because i hide my emotions behind my face quite well.
The feelings just swells up in my heart,
and i would just bottle it up,
not telling anybody.
At the very least,
im optimistic.
But optimism doesnt really help sometimes.
Because it's just a short-term solution.
The constant convincing of myself,
just seems quite routine.
Am i going to be like this forever ?
I hope those fortune-tellers are accurate,
because i really hope that i can excel in the future.
Im just afraid that im unable to support the family,
unable to do much for my parents,
failing them all..
If i have a goal in life,
it may make me feel happier..

What is my goal ... ?
stop-full.

Blog post no. 127..

Let's just start this off with what i did the entire day.
Well, not the entire day, but just the things i did.
Wth am i talking ? -.=
Not using my brain now. Very sorry. =/
Anyways,
went to school for the damndamn AYG thingy. -.=
ROARR !
I could have slept in later.
Thanks to MrZaman, my beauty sleep just *poofed !
What have i done in this 1 whole month ?
NOTHING !
=.=

Nothing productive came out of this holiday, i guess.
Sometimes i wonder why im born slacky. -.=
Shytty lah.


I hate going to school.
But i have to go to school.
Im obliged to go to school.
Yet school makes me feel tired.
Why do our society require us to study so much, and yet some undergrads still cant find a job ?
Is it our problem or does the problem lie in the society itself ?
Im tired.
My heart feels tired.
I've got so much in my head,
sometimes i wonder whether my brain would just explode and everything solved.
Im going to find a bomb and bomb my brain off someday.. -.-
There's so much to cram into my head..
Studies..
Studies..
& more studies..
All the problems originates from studies.
Thats why i hate it.
Why am i so stupid ?!
Why cant i just perform well, academically, like some people ?
I mean, i dont have to be perfect in all the subjects,
but just let me understand all of it,
and get myself a good grade.

Im seriously tired.
I must be thinking too much.
Loneliness, i guess.
Sometimes i think that it might be better if i had a older sibling to share my thoughts and feelings with,
but it's quite impossible.
Circumstances restricts.
One of the reason why im constantly going out is because,
usually being alone,
the loneliness just overwhelms me.
In the end, what happens ?
Im emoing like what im feeling right now.
I guess most wouldnt understand.
Surprisingly,
the Facebook quiz i took,
was spot-on about me having the mental disease called Bi-Polar..
Something like that.
Can be happy & hyper, the next minute, feeling depressed...
I must be suffering from depression.
Im going bonkers. -.=
Mostly, im happy and hyper outside.
Because im surrounded with people/friends.
The crowd makes me forget my worries,
makes me happier and more cheerful.
Tell people im emo,
they would just say,
Sure anot ?
I had this experience.
Remember going out with some friends..
Saw this shirt saying, im emo.
I told them, it suits me.
They didnt quite believe.
Frankly, most people are unable to see the real me.
Because i hide my emotions behind my face quite well.
The feelings just swells up in my heart,
and i would just bottle it up,
not telling anybody.
At the very least,
im optimistic.
But optimism doesnt really help sometimes.
Because it's just a short-term solution.
The constant convincing of myself,
just seems quite routine.
Am i going to be like this forever ?
I hope those fortune-tellers are accurate,
because i really hope that i can excel in the future.
Im just afraid that im unable to support the family,
unable to do much for my parents,
failing them all..
If i have a goal in life,
it may make me feel happier..

What is my goal ... ?
stop-full.

♥ CHERYL - (:
I'm an authentic Earthling.
& that's all about me. (;